Saturday, January 14, 2012
1-14-12
Getting this in just under the wire. We have company in our house tonight and we stayed up late talking. They're here to bring the eldest back to college, except for the boys who are here to visit my children. It's nice to have a household full of people, but the noise was too much for my husband and he went to bed early with EARPLUGS. He insists that there's nothing really wrong with his hearing, but I know the truth. He doesn't hear about 60% of what is said. I can't tell whether that's a blessing or a curse. Sometimes I think it would be nice to not hear the commotion that swirls around me but be able to live in blessed silence for a while. I'd think that the quiet would get boring very quickly though. I need near constant mental stimulation and the calm would make me insane. I start turning things on to generate a certain level of noise and distraction when the house is empty except for me. The lack of noise can be a complete distraction and make me unable to function. I end up just pacing the house and looking for something to happen. I'm a bit like a zoo lion in his cage. Constantly pacing. Do you think they plot ways to escape? Do they look at the fences which surround them and calculate the chances of being able to leap over them? Do they weigh whether or not the razor wire is worth braving? I feel sorry for the zoo animals. Zoos are just depressing places to me. I want the animals to be able to run free and live on as much space as they need. But then again I want to be able to look at them up close and see how their fur moves when they walk and the size of their teeth when they yawn. But I want them to be able to roar. Have you ever noticed how the zoo lions don't roar? They do when they first arrive but after a while they get hit with creeping apathy and they stop roaring. They just pace. Maybe the zoo is too quiet for them after the jungle noises. Perhaps we should loan them a TV to turn on for sound and company.
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I find this very interesting. My brain works like this as well but I've never been diagnosed. What happens when you're on medication? How is it different? Is this considered a mental illness or just a disorder? Is there a difference?
ReplyDeleteI have the same interrupting problem (you mentioned in an earlier post). If I don't say it when I think of it I won't remember the point I wanted to make. I've learned over time just to keep quiet and if it's important enough then I'll remember (hopefully). I figured everyone else learned this earlier and better than I did.
When you were a kid, did you talk too much? I couldn't stop talking and I remember everyone saying "do you ever be quiet (or still or shut up)" and I remember thinking "I'm just saying what's on my mind" I really did not comprehend until I grew up (and calmed down quite a bit) that I talked incessantly. As one of my children also does now.